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Want To Maximize Your Climbing Time? Live With Your Parents As Long As Possible

Author: Nik Berry

April 03, 2013

“Nik, get down here!” my mom yelled. “Where is here?” I yelled back. I love being a smartass to my parents. “The bathroom! And don’t get smart with me!” My mom demanded that the tiles around the porcelain throne be clean enough to lick. I had flashbacks of the last time I peed on the bathroom floor. I dropped my head and prepared for ass ripping number 638. In the bathroom, disappointment contorted her face. I wondered why she was pointing her finger and squinting at me this time. Why was she so upset, she was the one who raised me, right? “There are pee drops all around the toilet,” she said.  “How do you do this every day? The evidence was all around the bowl. She forced me to bleach the urine off the floor. “Nik,” my mom said, “if you want to live here, you need to stop peeing on the floor.”

Maximizing climbing time is about your money-to-work ratio. Living with my parents increased this ratio significantly for me. Unfortunately, there’s baggage that comes along with such a situation, and there are times when you just need to bite your tongue. Here are some pointers in case you are inspired to move into your old room full of soccer trophies and swimming ribbons:

When your parents go out of town, stay in town. This is your time to have free rein and feel like the bachelor/bachelorette that you are. Enjoy every minute of their absence. Pee around the toilet. Have a dozen dirtbags stay on the couch. Drink way too much beer. However, before your parents return, clean the house. Your mom finding an empty 30 rack of PBR and Fred Beckey on the sofa will guarantee your eviction.

Nothing in life is free. Even living with your parents requires sacrifices. As a 26-year veteran of parent leeching, I have found that nothing will maximize your climbing time more than living with your parents.

One last tip: To keep from peeing on the bathroom floor, go somewhere else. Potted house plants are ideal urinal substitutes.

Nik Berry

​Growing up in Salt Lake City, Utah, Nik Berry learned to love playing in the mountains at an early age. Introduced to climbing in Little Cottonwood Canyon in high school, Nik was immediately hooked. Attending university in Flagstaff, Ariz., intensified his obsession, and also allowed him to meet some great friends who showed him how to succeed and thrive in all of climbing’s disciplines. With this young group of dedicated climbers, Nik would travel every weekend to Hueco, Indian Creek, Bishop, Joes Valley or Redrocks to further hone his craft. Nik’s obsession turned his college years into a four-year climbing road trip that left him with a B.A. in business and a masters in rock climbing.

Though Nik’s skills as a climber have given him the opportunity to travel and climb at many world-renowned areas, Yosemite still has his heart. Follow Nik on Instagram at http://instagram.com/nikdingleberry.