Oops! I ______ My Pants: Our Funniest Bathroom Mishaps, Part 6

When I started guiding on Rainier, I was told about how a very-senior-guide-who-will-remain-nameless, many years earlier on a Himalayan expedition to a very, VERY tall mountain, was portering a load to one of the high camps when the urge overwhelmed him. With little choice, he unzipped his down suit, pulled it down to his knees, and squatted right on the route.

I heard Ed Viesturs speak once, and when asked "How do you go to the bathroom when the weather is that cold?" He responded, "Very quickly."

So this guide gets done with his business very quickly, then stands up and pulls up his suit, and zipping it up quickly to get out of the cold. As he turns around to see the results - and figure out how to remove it from being underfoot on the route - he flipped up his hood...

And felt something warm, heavy, and wet hit the back of his head and start sliding down his neck.

—Chris Simmons